Are You Wondering How Single Moms Manage? Find out more!

How single Moms Manage? (Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash)

Being a single parent is not easy. Even if times are changing some women are still receiving stigma for divorcing their husbands and deciding to raise their children on their own. Some doctrines such as Holy Scriptures condemn this act. Some situations such as the death of a loved one may force you to be a single parent. Divorce or separation sometimes is better so that you can raise children in a healthy environment free from trauma caused by physical or emotional abuse.

Without the necessary support raising your child by yourself can cause stress to you and your child too. Statistics show that most children raised by single parents develop signs of low self-esteem. This does not have to happen if you stay open with your child. Below are some few tips to help you bring up a child playing both roles of a mother and father.

Come up with routines

Photo by pan xiaozhen on Unsplash

When it is just you and your child, you need to do everything possible to eliminate idle time that may make them overthink. Create a particular schedule for your child to follow so that they know what to do at specific hours. This prevents arguments in a household when a child knows that they should stick to the routine as instructed. It creates discipline even as they grow up with a single parent.

Show them love

Fill the void at home by letting your child know that even if their dad, you have enough respect for them. Do not make them look for love outside your home as they try to fill the gap that the father may have left. Always appreciate and praise their achievements even as you discipline them to be better. Be the cool mam that shares some girl talk with her daughter as you get close to them. Spend your free time with them and create a strong bond with your children. It means a lot to a child when you take time to attend their soccer games.

Teach gratitude

The separation may have left you in a financial mess. You should, however, teach your children to appreciate the abundances in life. Encourage them that each family is unique and spectacular in its own way. Even as you work hard to provide for them, do not blame yourself for what you are not able to provide. Stay positive and teach your children the importance of contentment.

Attention

Raising a child who is approaching teenage hood without a father figure can weigh down on you. This is the time when your child needs you the most due to hormonal changes that they are experiencing. At this stage, they may start blaming themselves for the absence of their father, and if you don’t give them attention, they can isolate themselves. The stress of seeing their friends in school with both parents can turn them into drugs. In case your child is indulging in alcohol and other drugs, get them help. Visit sites such as https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/local-rehab-resources/colorado/boulder/ to help them recover from drug abuse.

Make friends with a single mom

Help your child connect with a neighbor’s child who may be a single mom too. This helps them feel that they are not alone and being raised by single parents is not abnormal. It also gives you time to have for yourself as you take turns to watching each other’s kids.  Allow your children to have sleepovers at their place or your place to prevent cases of isolation. It also allows single families to share their experiences as they spare time to conduct tasks together. You can also join a single mam’s club to socialize and learn from others.

Hire a babysitter

You may have a tight schedule at work such that balancing all the duties leaves you too exhausted. Hire someone who can pick your baby at school when you are late for an appointment with a client. This also helps you stop giving multiple excuses as to why you are always late for work in the morning. Even if the father figure is lacking, you can always look for someone who is willing to care for your baby for a negotiable fee. Ensure that you get a recommended person from a friend so that you can work without worrying about your child’s welfare.

Take care of your well being

All the drama in your busy life can make you forget about yourself. Once in a while, take some time off to remind yourself how far you have come as a single mam. Appreciate your efforts by treating yourself for a good time with your girlfriends as you leave your child in good hands. Ensure that you get enough time to rest so that your busy schedule does not affect your health. Finish a day with some workouts to help you relax.

Avoid obsessing

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Worrying too much about other people’s deeds will only make you stress out. Stop obsessing if your baby daddy will show up for their child. You cannot control them, do your part and always be there for your child even if they keep on excusing themselves from responsibilities.

Breath

Taking deep breaths when your baby is throwing a tantrum will prevent you from acting out. Avoid yelling or caning your child for no reason. When the emotions are running high, close your eyes and count to ten or walk away for some air to avoid overreacting. Always keep your feelings in check to show enough confidence to your baby. You don’t want them to wish they lived with their father right? Keep it together by merely breathing till you are calm enough to respond.

Final thoughts

Be the mam that people admire even when you have to do everything by yourself. Let those who stigmatize you commend you for the success of nurturing a child in the best way possible. Learn how to multitask as you seek support when you need it. There is nothing to be ashamed of being a single parent. Embrace it with pride so that your child can grow up feeling appreciated and loved.

Disclaimer: The above is a guest post